Memorial Day - What it means to me.

Memorial Day in the US is a day of reflection and remembrance for those who have served in our military to preserve our freedoms. Both my father and my grandfather served in the military, and I am grateful for their sacrifice.

Memorial Day for our family also means to remember the life of family members who have passed on, including our son. It is a time be reminded of his good life, his desire to make others happy, and for the many lessons he taught us during his earthly existence. To me, his life continues on as long as he remains in my mind and as I try to emulate his good example.

Randall

Remembering our son, Joshua

Last year, our dear son and friend, Joshua, passed away, and we have found that although we grieve and feel of loss of his earthly presence, we believe that families are eternal and we will see him again.

In the meantime, we feel it an honor to remember and celebrate his life and love for others. In particular, friends and family organized a service project to help families in need at a local food bank in our city. We felt it would be great to do this project on his birthday as a way to think about the needs of others who are poor and hungry. Josh had great compassion for others, and he felt strongly about showing charity to all those around him.

You can read more about this event here:

http://joshuascottdavis.org/dayofservice.htm

Spring: A Time of New Beginnings

Spring has arrived here in Utah, and my wife and I worked in the garden getting things ready for planting. We have a number of fruit trees, and one important step is to prune them so they will produce better fruit and remain healthy throughout the year.

Perhaps, the concepts of spring and pruning could also be applied to our own lives. From time to time, we sometimes allow bad habits to grow out of control, leading to an unwieldy character that languishes over time. One might say that rules (or carefully pruning) can deny one the ability to grow, but simple growth does not lead to better results. Such pruning of bad habits can allow us to strengthen the parts of our character can lead to better, long-term outcomes. We weed out any weak branches, giving more room and light to other development.

Furthermore, when the fruit starts to appear, you have to thin out the tree or remove a lot of the fruit so that more of the tree's energy is focused on that which remains. This might sound counter-intuitive in the beginning, but with our own trees, we have been able to huge apples because we have taken the time to care for the tree in the early spring.

So, now that spring has arrived, what part of your own life might need a little pruning? 

Love: Keeping the Fire Burning

Many people celebrated Valentine's Day yesterday, and my wife and I spent the evening doing indoor rock climbing and having a meal at a restaurant. Over the years, I have found that spending time together doing things you both enjoy is so important. Building the relationship every day cements your friendship more than giving flowers and candy once in a while. 

 

 Furthermore, if you view relations only as a contract (you give 50% and I give 50%), then problems and unhappiness are bound to happen. Instead, try giving 100% of your effort to the other person. Now, there will be times in a life when unexpected situations arise that put pressure on a relationship (illness, death, financial strain), but when you accept first that life isn't always fair and that you really have to keep putting wood on the fire of love, then you are devoting all of your energies to make things work.

 

Here is one of my listening activities from my Web site, www.esl-lab.com, on what NOT to do to maintain love in a relationshop.

- http://www.esl-lab.com/flowershop/flowershoprd1.htm

Remembering Our Son and His Life - Joshua Davis

It has been about nine months since our son, Josh, passed away (www.joshuascottdavis.org), and there are many things we have learned about him and ourselves over that time. We have always been grateful for the wonderful life he shared with us and others, but if there is one thing I have learned (and continue to learn) is how small acts of kindness can really provide a healing balm days, months, and years after a difficult event occurs.

In other words, I have appreciated most have been the small cards, letters, and even heartfelt words from friends, family, and even complete strangers that have expressed how Joshua had an impact on their lives. Even something months and years later can provide great comfort.

I have also discovered that you often don't see the collateral or rippling effect of a person's life in real time. Rather, you sometimes discover that small acts of kindness and generosity of a person may have been the small rudder to have lifted somewhat up in their own difficult times of grief, sadness, and loneliness.

This perhaps is a selfish desire or yearning to know what Josh meant to others, but I hope that knowing such feelings, events, and his example can help me become a better father and friend to others. And for that, I thank him for being my son.

Randall