"I love you!"

"Dad, you're the best father in the whole world. Let's talk."

Uh-oh. I can feeling something coming . . . "Okay, what do you want?"

I shouldn't always assume that my children have some pre-planned agenda when they come and lavish praises on my such as these, but I am often correct in anticipating that something is coming. My kids often don't mind trying, realizing that my answer will often be "no."

• "No, I'm not buying another family car."
• "No, I don't think everyone needs an iPad."
• No, I'm not going to take you out to dinner tonight."
• "No, I won't do your chores. Just because I won't clean the bathroom for you doesn't mean I don't love you."

This said, there are many times when we can and should say YES:

• "Yes, you can come and talk to me any time of day or night."
• "Yes, I made a mistake, and I'm sorry."
• "Yes, you are right, and I am wrong."

I often have to suspend judgement before I leap to a conclusion on why my kids tell me they love me. I many cases, they simply mean it. 


Randall

Gratitude

Gratitude is something that most people appreciate as they go about their daily lives. However, although most parents would like to feel some gratitude from their children for the things we do, this shouldn't be the reason why we have and raise children. Parents will often run around wondering and complaining why children aren't more grateful for our providing the daily necessities of life, but you'll always feel somewhat cheated if you expect life to be fair and children to thank you for paying the electric bill or for putting gas in the car to take them here and there.

Someday, they might thank us, but I'm not waiting around for that to happen. I love my kids whether they recognize my efforts or not, believing that as they mature, gratitude will take root in their lives.

Randall

FamilySearch.org: Doing Family History

My children often comment that my main hobby is finding dead people, and I guess in a way they are right. I have enjoyed doing genealogy or family history research for many years, and by learning about our ancestors, we learn more about ourselves.

On of my favorite Web sites for doing research is FamilySearch.org, developed and maintained by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It is free to use, and you can find all kinds of records to get your started. The Web site has a number of free online courses, its own database of articles, and information on how to get help at local family history centers.

Give it a try.

The Value of Work

One of the things I have tried to instill in my children is the value of work. When I was growing up, I worked a number of part-time jobs including working on a farm, selling vegetables at a roadside fruit stand, delivering newspapers, flipping hamburgers at a restaurant, working as a waiter at another, ushering and selling concessions at a movie theater, and . . . .well . . . other jobs.

Now, it can be nice when things fall in your lap, but the reality of life is that things often don't come easy, nor are they meant to be. For that reason, we have encouraged our own kids to work, for which they have done: on a farm and at restaurants. They have also done volunteer work.

In all of this, there is nothing more satisfying that providing for yourself, at least to the extent that you are able. You might not feel that way, and I certainly didn't when I was delivering heavy Sunday newspapers during blizzard and freezing conditions during one particular winter, but those lessons and experiences are what certainly forge our character in many, untold ways.

Developing Discipline Over Time

One of the challenges of life is to develop the discipline to always be engaged in behavior or activities that we will to greater long-term satisfaction in life. Sometimes, my kids wonder why I don't eat tons of ice cream, cake, and cookies. Well, yes, I sure like the flavor and I have cravings to eat to my heart's content from time to time. However, I realize that they will stick to me like glue, and they can have long-term effects on are overall health.

For someone who runs a lot in long-distance events, you would think I wouldn't be so concerned about that; yet, we can defy age, and not taking care of our bodies will catch up with us eventually.

It is hard to convince someone in their teens or in their young-adult years of these facts. You can sermonize all you want on these topics, so in the end, the best thing to do is live the best you can and hope your example speaks louder than words.