Do (Did) you have a better relationship with your mother or your father?

Blog Purpose

Raising children is a full-time, life-time endeavor, and just because your children leave the nest, your role and influence continue. However, many challenges (generally uninvited ones) appear from time to time.

This blog is designed to informally explore both the joy and possible adversity that accompanies the raising of a family, and by doing so, provides some possible solutions to improving family relationships. It started with the idea of trying to be more self-reflective on my own experiences as an imperfect parent, but I thought others could benefit and share ideas on the topics as well. Although the focus in on parenting, most of the postings apply just as well to any relationship, including siblings and especially those who are dating. Visitors are invited to share their thoughts and opinions on the topic.

Posts are moderated only to filter spam and unrelated/inappropriate content, but all opinions on the topic of this blog are respected and invited.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

"As parents, we guide by our unspoken example.  
It is only when we're talking to them that our kids aren't listening."  
 - Attributed to Robert Brault

 There are times in our lives when we as parents seem to be dishing out some form a sermonette to our children on some lost value or virtue that has seemed to have escaped them. My kids often remind me that I have given this or that one before ("Oh, yeah, dad. Isn't that sermonette number 234? Got it.") At some point, even my Reader's Digest version of my lectures don't appear to fly either. 
Unless you are talking about allowance or how much you plan on letting them use the car (or you just want to hear your own voice rehashing the lecture for the 10,000th time), you will probably be talking on deaf ears. And rightly so in many cases.
While we tend to administer instruction from the pulpit looking down, we probably should be spending more time in the pews ourselves. Personally, I have found that that I can't expect my children to rise to any higher standard than to the one I reach myself. Can you expect your children to be honest if you try to sneak food and drink into a movie theater when clearly posted signs say it is prohibited? You can try to justify certain behaviors by saying the policy doesn't make sense or that the movie theater makes tons of money off refreshments (which they do), but so will your children. We honor policies out of respect. We might be able to outsmart children when they are little, but they quickly see the shallowness of our words.


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